In just a few days there will be a new life in our home. Well,...that's not completely accurate. This new life is already there, in our home. However, my wife is the only one who is able to hold him at this time.
He isn't due for another three weeks, but all signs are pointing to our baby boy being born early. Have no fear, all of our recent prenatal appointments have said he is cleared for landing whenever he's ready. This has me scrabbling to get his room, (as well as the rest of the house) ready for his arrival. This past weekend I installed a new kitchen sink faucet (in preparing for his baths), I built his porta-crib/bassinet, and I installed an extra towel rack in my oldest boy's bathroom (which my new born probably won't use for a while, but...it's ready when he is). I even found time to build a bench, mow the lawn, and clean the fish tank. Did I mention I did all of this on Sunday? They speak of expecting mothers to begin "nesting" just before their babies are born. Clearly, something similar happens to expecting fathers as well.
I find myself once again feeling anxious and nervous at the same time. We have a four year son and yet, somehow, I feel as if I'm going to be a new parent. I worry about being able to provide for my family and still I crave a home full of children.
Prayer has been a constant in my life always, however, recently prayerful words have filled my day. I know I/we can not do this alone. It is only by God's mercy and grace that we have come so far. His presence is truly felt. However, my human nature leads me to be fearful still.
There is a constant drive within me to do more, to be more; always more.
Blessings,
AngelArch
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